“I keep waiting for the day when someone writes a version of Buddhism for the working mom. I think that person should herself be a mother with at least one ADHD child. She should be clinically depressed and have a couch potato for a husband. If she manages to help the child grow into someone with a good marriage and a real profession, I'll buy all of her books. Unfortunately what we keep getting are philosophies created by self-satisfied, introverted, childless, hermits like Tolle.”
- Amazon.com reviewer
The other day I ran across this review for Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”, and while I don’t agree with her take on Tolle, I appreciated that she was interested in reading a frazzled mom’s take on Buddhism.
In full disclosure: I’m not a Buddhist. I don’t even play one on TV. I have had a few, rare “awakened” moments in my life, but I won’t pretend to come close to understanding the eightfold path or the four noble truths or the boundless compassion of the Dalai Lama.
I don’t have a couch potato for a husband, in fact I have an amazing husband, but I DO have one child with Epilepsy and Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (which is medical speak for "your kid is waaaay atypical, maybe autistic, and royally...um, challenged"). I also have two stepsons, one with ADHD and one with Dyslexia. I don't like to bandy about labels like these, but I'm just sayin', Zen moments don't come easy 'round here.
I do wrestle with depression, and have much of my adult life, though I come out on top more often than not. Whether I’ll help my son grow into someone with a good marriage and a real profession is yet to be seen, but I plan on giving him every opportunity to live a connected, meaningful life, regardless of his marital or professional status.
I find inspiration and relief in Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism (all the isms), Christian mystics, Sufi poets, irreverent playwrights, masterful novelists, sublime composers, fearless bloggers and friends who don’t mind the cat hair on my couch and the unseemly noises my child makes when he is excited. Mostly though, I find inspiration in Quinn himself. Better than any Zen Master for teaching me mindfulness, his very presence in the world has awakened in me new dimensions of joy, loving-kindness, compassion … and we’re always working on that fourth, rather pesky divine abode: equanimity.
I know I don’t exactly fit this reviewer’s criteria, and so she may not buy all of my books, which is okay, since I don’t have any books to sell - but since I need a deadline to get anything done, I’m going to pretend that she is reading my blog, waiting with bated breath for my daily exploration of the ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows of this imperfect, ephemeral life. And if anyone else wants to follow along ... I’d be honored.
Namaste.
Welcome to the blogosphere! I am SOOOO proud of you! Love, L
ReplyDeleteI would love to follow along on what I believe will be an amazing journey for us all :-) Yea!
ReplyDeleteQuinnMama, I think the Amazon rant is not actually fair to Tolle, who very much takes us "where we are" in our lives, and offers a different way of dealing with suffering. However, I do get her comment about "childless hermits" and all that means. I think Pema Chodron addresses some of the messiness of life, as does a woman (whose name escapes me, Zen practitioner) who wrote a wondrous book called, "Living a Joyful Life in the Midst or Pain," or something like that! Annie
ReplyDeleteAnnie,
ReplyDeleteIt's absolutely unfair to Tolle and from my point of view, a false argument. I don't think being a "childless hermit" makes it any easier to connect with the truest nature of who you are. It may give you an advantage in having more TIME to live in the now - but that's a fallacy, too, because it's not about the time, its about the intention to live in the present moment regardless of the messiness ... inside and out. In fact, for me the opposite has been true, the more life has asked of me, the more I have been able to tap into "the power of now". Don't know that that's a truth for everyone, I think some people do need absolute silence and solitude, but either way, overcoming one's own identification with thoughts is a lifetime's work and a big fat challenge! One that Tolle seems to have risen to with some grace.
Jenny, write and write some more. We need to know of this love in your world on the hill! your admiring friend, Janet
ReplyDeleteWhen life throws me a curve (and it seems to do so frequently), I draw strength from the wonder that is my grandson, Quinn. I marvel at his boundless capacity for happiness, at the Herculean courage that he exhibits in the face of countless medical treatments, needles, and foul tasting medications, at the stalwart determination with which he combats the multitude of challenges that he faces each day. I am amazed by the abilities that he does exhibit (most obviously the powers of navigation that he has seemingly possessed since birth and his steel trap memory). I doubt that I will, in my lifetime be forced to overcome as many obstacles as Quinn has in his first five years on this earth.
ReplyDeleteHe is my hero!
Jen!, I jumped on-line during my lunch hour the day I saw you at the office and briefly read some of your blogs. Tonight is the first time since then (March). I'm HOOKED!! You are an incredible writer. Thank you for sharing your life and your journey.
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